How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
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If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
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I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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