You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
