Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
