You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
