maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
