So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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