chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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