I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
