On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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