I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
