I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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