So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
