Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize