oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
We named our party play list daddy issues
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
this boner is exhausting
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
