first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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