I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I look better un-naked...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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