just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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