I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
