ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize