next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
