I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
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The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
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"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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