I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
