my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
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What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
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Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
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