the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize