i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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