this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
