At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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