what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
