it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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