I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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