Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
