i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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