Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
