I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
