He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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