fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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