It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
