So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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