I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
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Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I'm really busy with my period
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