I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
