ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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