if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
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Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
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So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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