# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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