1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
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Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
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This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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