I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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