if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize