Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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