I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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