That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize