We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
