Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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