my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
