? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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