we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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