your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
