He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
