just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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