hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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