We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
