It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
