So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
